Going back to work during a Pandemic is already stressful, but try getting promoted and going to a new location at the same time (nightmare). When I tell you, it was sooooooo stressful. And trust the sooooooo, represents half of the stressfulness. Being at a new location, with a new team, and new expectations can really take you out of your comfort zone. I know for me, when I get taking out of my comfort zone, it plays a role on my mental health. It’s like, I have to learn everything I once knew all over again. I have always been the type of person that observes and learns how people work, in order to have a peaceful work environment. You have to meet people where they're at, in order for them to grow pass the point they're stuck in. But that’s a whole other topic, so let’s get back to the point. The past couple of weeks, I have been out my comfort zone. Everyday when I get off work I would come home tired. I would feed Lauren and go straight to bed. Mind you, I run a successful t-shirt business online. I usually come home everyday and work on the business, right after I put Lauren to bed. But nope, not at all. I literally have felt physically and mentally tired. My body and mind was drained and I couldn’t focus when I got home. I told myself I couldn’t do this anymore. Something has to give or I’m not going to make it at this new location. This past Sunday, I told myself that I would do something that I love to do no matter how my day is going. One of the things I like to do is read books. I know, I know, very few people know this, but I like reading books. It’s like a escape to me and I decided that the books would be my time to myself. Everyday I kept saying, "No matter how your day goes, read your book." And that is exactly what I did. I read my book everyday this week. But truthfully, that wasn’t what helped me get relaxed.
Where’s your Free Space?
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One of the things I strongly lack in my life, is taking care of me. While growing up, I have always took care of everyone else. And honestly, that’s just me. Well no, that was my grandmother. And like most people in their life, you tend on being like the person that influenced you the most. She would always take care of everyone else that was around her, but I would rarely see her take care of her self. I never saw her complain, worry, or be sad about it. She did want she had to do and kept it moving. I definitely know I got this behavior from her. No matter what is thrown my way, I always tend to take care of it. When my family and friends need help, I’m there. When my husband wants me to do something, I’m there. When Lauren (my sweet little baby) needs something, I’m there. And trust me this one year old that will be turning two soon needs a lot of attention, lol. But you get the picture. When people call I’m there. Now if you know me, you know you better call me instead of texting me, because I’m known to leave you on blue (iPhone user). But all that to say, these past couple of weeks have put me through a major test. And the lack of not taking care of myself didn’t help.
Backs story, me and my husband both were buying Dunkin’ every morning during this pandemic. Some mornings, I would drop him off to get out the house and we would eat sweet black pepper bacon sandwiches and caramel ice coffees (Mines were definitely french vanilla or butter pecan). Trust me, it was really good bonding time, but now we both are back at work and we both were getting this meal. Just imagine $15.00 dollars coming out of your account every day for the same thing plus lunch. I was like nope buddy, I will be cooking again. Every morning I started waking up 30mins earlier to make breakfast. I would pack his breakfast up with his lunch and then eat breakfast with Lauren before we would get our day started. Once I got off work, I would make it home, get comfortable, and go back into the kitchen to make dinner. All while Lauren was playing and her dad watching YouTube videos or playing call of duty (This man has issues). But, the kitchen has become my sanctuary. I was cooking, listening to music, or having a good conversation with my friends on the phone. Having a good old time. After thinking about this, I realize that the kitchen was my happy place. The kitchen was were I spent the most of my time with my grandmother. We will cook, sing, and talk about everything. Growing up, my grandmother was like my therapist and the kitchen was our space to be free and relaxed. All week, I kept telling myself I need to relax and do things that I loved. Me reading my book was suppose to be that, but really it was me being in my free space (The Kitchen). The space were my grandmother made me feel comfortable to open up to her and be free. We all need that free space. That space where we can clear our minds and get everything out that doesn’t belong. And honey, I’ve been getting out everything that doesn’t belong.
As women, our mental health is really important. We have multiple jobs that we have to handle on a daily bases. People always tell us to take time for our self. Don’t do anything, but relax. But truthfully, sometimes doing something that you love is relaxing. Finds what makes you relax and do it. No matter what it is (well not if it’s trying to hurt someone, then you on your own, honey). But seriously, make time for yourself no matter what's going on. The world will still be there when you get back to reality. In plus, always remember “The Devil is a Lie”, so you got this!